Stuck

 

I wish we never met.  And went our separate ways.

I thought you’d be like them

Loving you one minute. Then over it

and every time we try to say a word

we leave each other mid- sentence,

and you leave me wondering when we’ll finish.

 

I know you never liked me

and you probably never will.

Made the biggest mistake of life

So now I pay the price,

Being close to someone else yet,

I still think of you

 

I’ve tried to forget you over and over,

but at the end of the day

you are always stuck in my head.

We’ve went separate ways,

I’ve tried someone else.

You forgot me yet,

I can’t be rid of you.

 

All my memories, none of them good but, one.

Why does it matter anyway?

You never really liked me.

Advertisements

A Pirate’s Journey: Part Two

Young pirates

It wouldn’t have worried Silas if they hadn’t already walked through most of the ship and seen no sign of the captain. Timberwolf tended to wander around, but that was when he wasn’t ill. When he was sick, he stayed locked up in his cabin all day, except when he was yelling at one of the boys to ‘fetch him some chicken noodle soup, for Calypso’s sake’. Not to mention that he always left a note before wandering off, especially if he would be gone for a while. It was completely unlike Timberwolf to just disappear.

“Silas, what’s wrong?” Red asked. He had known the captain for the longest time out of any of the boys.

Silas realized he was blocking the entire cabin from view. He turned to face his crew, trying to keep his fear from his face, but he gave himself away with the quavering of his voice. “The captain isn’t here.”

The crew broke into worried chatter. “What do you mean he isn’t here? Where is he? Did he leave us?”

Silas found himself helpless to quell their fears. He had wanted more responsibility, but not for the captain to be entirely gone.

Thankfully, Red stepped in. “Hey! There’s no way Timberwolf would just leave us. There must be some sort of explanation. Maybe he had an emergency meeting with another captain.” He looked around at the crew; they had quieted down and were listening to him intently. “Why don’t we wait until morning and see if he’s back by then? If he isn’t, we can deal with this then, but everything looks better after a good night’s sleep. Right, Silas?”

“Yes,” Silas replied, very unsure of himself. He was jealous of how Red could command the crew’s respect with such ease. The other boy was acting like more of a first mate than Silas. “It’s late and there’s nothing else we can do tonight.”

With only a few quiet mutterings and complaints, the rest of the crew went to ready themselves for bed, Red following close behind. Silas was left alone, staring at Timberwolf’s empty cabin and wondering how he’d ever be able to fall asleep.

.  .  .

The next morning, after a thorough search of the ship (very thorough – Timberwolf had once been found fast asleep in a barrel in the hold), the crew gathered on the main deck. No one had found any evidence of the captain, and worry was once again starting to weigh down on the young men.

Silas had barely slept, so preoccupied he was with trying to figure out how they would even start to search for the captain. He had feverishly scoured Timberwolf’s cabin for any clues it might have held about the man’s whereabouts. Even with all the time spent thinking and searching, he only had one idea that could possibly help them hunt Timberwolf down.

After the crew had shared the fruitless results of their search, Silas turned to Red. “Is there anyone we could ask who might know where Timberwolf is? Maybe point us in the right direction? Or at least some direction?”

Red frowned as he thought. “I’m not sure. The captain had a few friends, but he wasn’t all that close to anyone . . .” His eyes lit up as he realized something. “Well, there is someone . . .”

“Who is it?” Silas asked, leaning forward.

Fighting back a grin, Red said, “Captain Katherine Kincade.”

“Kincade?” Silas echoed. “She’s legendary! She’s friends with Timberwolf?”

“I wouldn’t say friends, but of anyone, she would have the wisdom to help us.”

Silas stood up. “That’s better than nothing. Come on!” He beckoned for the others to follow him. “I saw her at the Alliance meeting last night, she might still be docked here.”

The Tale of a Kingdom

Once upon a time there lived a princess, and this princess, well she was a little different. She preferred fencing instead of sewing, climbing instead of dancing, but she was loved greatly by her people. She always put them first, even before her own happiness.

The kingdom fell into a depression one long cold year, and the people suffered greatly. To help her people, she married the king of the neighbouring country in a desperate attempt to bring prosperity to the people, but the king had other ideas. He wanted the kingdom’s natural resources to himself, and would do anything to get them.

Years passed, and they produced an heir. A gentle boy who took after his mother greatly. One day, the king sent his wife — the kind peaceful beloved queen — out riding by herself. She was looking for herbs for the local doctor under her husband’s request when she came across a stream. She stopped there to let her horse rest. When the next day came and the queen had not returned, the villagers went looking, only to find her still by the stream, but no longer breathing.

When the king heard this news he was devastated, at least publicly. His son, on the other hand, could not bear the loss of his mother. He locked himself away in the castle and refused to leave.

Without the queen, the kingdom once again fell into disrepair. The king treated his citizens like slaves, continuously working then until they dropped dead. This went on for years on end when finally, the prince looked outside.

He saw his mother’s dream ruined and would not stand for it. He challenged his father to a duel for the kingdom, and he succeeded. The king was exiled, and the money that the people rightful owned for their years of labor was finally given to them. The kingdom once again began to prosper, and looked even better, thanks to the new king. The people cheered for their new king. Long live Our Savior!

Fake Me

Teen sitting on floor with self portraits on wall

The perfect smile. The perfect laugh. The perfect friends.

So perfect at everything I do.

You see so many people that laughs with me,

From a distance you see me as flawless.

Everything I do. Everywhere I go.

They all know me as the perfect

That fake smile I use. That fake laugh that comes out.

They are all foolish enough to belive I am perfect

I may not be in your head….

But I know you are one of them

Yes, I am happy with these people

Yes, sometimes they make me laugh

But… they are never there through dark times

They abandon me with nothing to do but cry

Have you evet wondered…

What makes me cry

What darkens my world and breaks me down

What turns me into shards of glass, or silver sharp knives

I’ve seen you look at me,

When I am having a good time

When I am one of them, the perfects

But we both have different roads to go

I wish to cross our paths but, we might never

I see you going farther and farther

To a place where I will never know you

I am running out of time until…

You fade away

Deep into my memories where you will be lost

If thats for the best than let it be

Then I might be far happier than now

One less person to think I am perfect

A Pirate’s Journey: Part One

Photo of pirate ship at sunset

I’ve found myself in a piratey mood after my long absence from this blog . . . so please enjoy this longer-than-my-usual-blurb tale of Captain Timberwolf and his loyal — though far from perfect — crew.

.  .  .

Heroes are often born of fire and ice, chaos and tragedy, and unfortunately, Silas Creed was not an exception. His parents had been pirates, though in their case, a pirate could be defined as one who might occasionally sail on the wrong side of the law, as opposed to a vicious cutthroat. When Silas was only six years old, his parents and their crew had a violent encounter with a band of such cutthroats. It ended tragically, with the vessel a blazing wreck and every man and woman aboard brutally slaughtered — though not before a young Silas and his infant brother were set adrift on the frigid sea.

A decade later, Silas found himself sailing with the eccentric Captain James Timberwolf, along with his younger brother Daniel and six other boys of varying ages below twenty. It was uncommon, but not unheard of, for a captain to have such a young crew; the famous Captain Katherine Kincade had a crew composed entirely of young women, widely known as one of the best in the realm. The greatest problem with Timberwolf’s crew was simply that they barely had enough members to manage the ship properly. However, with the help of the captain, the ship ran quite smoothly, despite the youth of the crew and the fact that they had only worked together for a few months.

Silas served as Timberwolf’s first mate, which he felt was more of an honor in theory than in practice. When he had sailed with another captain, all he had wanted was to ascend the ranks and become second-in-command. Now that he was first mate, however, he didn’t find it half as glamorous as it had seemed before. Silas hadn’t expected to have as much power as the captain, of course, but he did wish the rest of the crew would treat him more as a leader. At times, he felt Timberwolf didn’t give him as much responsibility as a captain would normally give their first mate, and he wondered how he could show the captain he was ready to truly be second-in-command.

To Silas’ great joy, an opportunity to prove himself presented itself in the early spring. Timberwolf had been invited to a gathering of the Pirate Alliance, but the captain himself was feeling unwell, so he asked Silas to take the crew in his stead. Silas had readily agreed. So, on the eve of the gathering, Silas disembarked with the crew and led them to the great hall.

Sometime past midnight, Timberwolf’s crew returned to their ship. Giddy with exhaustion and the excitement of going to the meeting on their own, the crew stampeded down to Timberwolf’s cabin to tell him all about the gathering.

However, when Silas stepped through the captain’s open door, he knew immediately that something was very wrong.

The captain wasn’t there.

 

The Death of Sarah Laumann (Part 4)

photo of dark tunnel

September 3, 1919 {Part 2}

After a long day I could finally rest. I still couldn’t believe it. My big brother, my favorite brother, my precious James was gone. I never got a clear view of the man’s face. All I could see was that the man who shot James had sleek black hair and a muscular frame. If I had just been at a better angle I could have seen his face. If only.

I could still here Evie’s scream as James fell. I wasn’t sure if I screamed too, but Evelyn’s scream was piercing. I didn’t know she cared so much. I thought she hated him, but apparently not.

I sighed and dropped onto my bed. My eyes started watering. I missed him so much and he had only been gone for a few hours. I let out a loud sob. I would have never done something so hideous in public, but I was alone and James was dead, I deserved to be repulsive for one night. I turned onto my side, my dress crushing my ribs. Normally I didn’t feel it, but now, now the tight, knee-length dress was killing me and I wanted nothing more than to be dead.

I screamed and fell out of my bed. Still sobbing, I ripped off my dress and my corset along with it. I sank to the floor, sobs racking my body. I wanted James. I wanted him right here next to me. I wanted here to comfort me, to tell me everything was okay, to just tell me he was alive.

I heard a door open so I pulled my head out of my hands. “Mother?”

She was the only person who had a key, besides Raymond of course, but my fiancé wasn’t going to be back for another two weeks. I hadn’t heard a reply so I pulled on my dressing gown, wiped the tears off my face and walked down the steps slowly.

“Is that you, Mama?” My voice cracked. Still no answer. I stepped into my little kitchen only to see the two people I least expected, Raymond and Evelyn. “Raymond? Evie? What are you doing here.”

They glanced at each other, but didn’t answer. “I thought you were going to be gone for a couple more weeks, Raymond.”

“I never left. I’ve been in New Orleans the entire time,” he replied. His voice was cold and hard.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. I looked at Evelyn. “Did you know?”

“Of course I knew, Raymond and I have been planning to go away and get married. We were thinking New York, but then your brother found out so we had some complications,” Evie said with a sickly sweet smile plastered on her face.

“My brother?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t recognize him. Raymond was the one who shot poor James. I thought it was obvious, but I guess you really are just a dumb Dora.”

“But you looked so upset when he got shot,” I replied, even more confused than I was before.

“It’s called acting, Darlin’.” She sounded so not-Evelyn-like. It was scaring me. Then, everything she just said hit my like a wall of bricks.

“Raymond shot my brother. He shot my brother because James knew about you and him.” I fell into a conveniently placed chair. My best friend, the girl who was like a sister to me, was planning on running away with the man I loved with all my heart. When I promised to help her run away with him, I was giving them my consent. ‘How smart of me,’ I thought sadly. I knew I wasn’t the smartest, but I had never cared about being smart. Being smart was never going to help me, so it didn’t matter to me. But now, not being smart and not being able to connect the dots was the worst thing I could have ever done.

“Why are you here, then?” I asked. I was shaking. I was terrified. This man had killed my brother. I had loved this man, but he hadn’t loved me.

“Why do you think? You’re James’ sister and you know the whole story. Sarah, darling, it’s your turn to die,” Evelyn said.

“Before you told me I didn’t know from nothing. Why’d you tell me if you were just going to kill me?” I asked. I was getting more terrified by the second.

“More like, we would have a reason to kill you,” Raymond said.

“A-A r-reason?”

“I’m sure you remember the letter I sent a few months back?” Raymond asked.

“You haven’t sent me any letters,” I whispered.

“Yes, I have. March 13, 1919.” It hit me.

“Y-you, y-you’re th-the A-axeman,” I stuttered. I looked at Evelyn. “How long have you been with him?”

“Since the very beginning,” Evelyn replied, tilting her head.

“Y-you’re both insane,” I yelled.

“I know,” the woman said. I watched as Raymond pulled a small axe out of his coat. How he concealed it so well? I didn’t know. I fell off the chair and moved away as quickly as I could, too scared to get up. I didn’t get far before Raymond plunged the axe into my skull.

September 3, 1919, the day I, Sarah Laumann, was murdered by the Axeman of New Orleans. I thought I would live to get married and have children. I thought I would grow old and live a peaceful life. A perfect life. Up until that day, I had lived a perfect life.

I fell back, and everything went dark.

Remember

flowers

Why can it be so hard to remember things?

Who do I always forget to be?

Why is it that I can remember the big important events

but not the fine details that shaped me?

I can see it ever so clear in my mind

the details in the memory are so clean and pure

but why is it that I feel that pang

like I should have remembered something more?

Good memories remembered give me hope

hope to move on to the next day

that happiness that drove me

From the memory of yesterday

-Marie Walters, March 2018